he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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