Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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