is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
