Need sex. Gaining weight.
love makes seman taste better
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
