every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Sorry about my life...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
