Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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