I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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