SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My life is pants optional.
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