I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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