1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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