That's when you crack a 10am beer
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
