By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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