thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
