I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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