Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
