I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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