Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
