Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
