your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
