yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
