What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
