Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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