first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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