Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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