btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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