But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize