Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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