I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize