shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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