May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
