I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
