I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
