we're chasing vodka with high fives
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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