I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
sex in a hospital.. check
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
