is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You pole danced in your parka.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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