I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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