Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Someone signed my nipple.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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