Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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