Need sex. Gaining weight.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
