we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
