WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
