HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
