her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
