Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
This house was built for laser tag.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
