Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
