even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
