bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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