I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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