I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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