Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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