we're blogging at a bar
we have officially lost it.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
