yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
