We're facebook friends in real life
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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