My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
