One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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