He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
